Jacked Up
by SS14
Summary: A series of events leads Jack on a quest to 'jack himself up' for Wuya. The world he enters contains anything and everything that's 'Jacked Up'.
1. Jacked Up

**"Jacked Up"**

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Xiaolin Showdown' in any way.

Warning: The following fan-fic is probably the most random and dumb story you'll ever get out of me. The amount of chapters there will be are unknown. But know this: it is action-packed/random/dumb/honorable/sexy/daring/fantastic/incredible/romantic/glorious/dramatic/graphic ... seedy/glamourous/sad/happy/raunchy/steamy/kiddy/pitiful/pathetic/glittery/etc. This is actually just the second, third, a little fourth, eleventh, twelfth, sixteenth, and twenty-one … th.

Open on a rainforest. Day. Clay and Jack are competing in a showdown over the latest Shen-Gong-Wu, the Altered Orb. It's Clay's Falcon's Eye against Jack's Jet Bootsu. The game is hide-and-seek. Clay and Jack head in opposite directions searching for the Orb. Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, Dojo and Wuya watch from nearby.

Jack uses his Jet Bootsu to hover and look for the Orb in the trees. Clay, meanwhile, uses his Falcon's Eye to quickly scour the rainforest.

"Come on, Clay! You can do it!" Kimiko yells.

"Go, Jack! Faster!" Wuya yells.

"This Wu's in the bag. There's no way Jack can win against Clay's Falcon's Eye," Raimundo says to Kimiko. Omi turns to Dojo.

"Dojo, what exactly does the Altered Orb do?"

"Well, let me pull out the 'ol Shen-Gong-Wu scroll here and … Ah. Here it is. "The Altered Orb - it gives its user the ability to shape shift." So, uh, basically, it does what I already can do," Dojo says.

Back with the showdown, Jack continues to look high up into trees, certain he'll find the Orb there. Jack spots a nest with three eggs in it tucked in-between two short branches. He lifts one egg up to look under.  
"This stupid Orb is so tiny, it could be anywhere!"

Back on the ground, Clay uses the Falcon's Eye again and spins around, but has no luck finding the Wu.

"Look under that big rock down there, Jack! You're so pre-occupied with the trees; you haven't even tried looking anywhere else!" Wuya yells.

Clay hears this and turns to the big rock Wuya was pointing out.

"Falcon's Eye!" He shines the Eye on the rock, immediately seeing the Altered Orb under it! Clay smiles and turns to Wuya. "Thank you kindly!"

Jack opens his mouth in shock and glares at Wuya. He drops the egg, opens his heli-bot, and turns it upside-down, so that it'll make him fly fast. He spirals down and swoops by Clay, who is running towards the Orb. Jack snickers and lands right in front of the big rock. He puts his hands underneath the rock and struggles to lift it as Clay gets closer.

"Hurry, Clay! Jack is close to winning the Shen-Gong-Wu!" Omi yells.

Jack turns his heli-bot back on, which is still upside-down, to help him lift the heavy rock. However, his back cracks. Clay arrives and shoves Jack into the rock, which causes the evil boy genius to fall down. Clay gets his hands underneath the rock and lifts with all his might. He flips the rock over and spots the Altered Orb. Jack slightly raises his head to see Clay grab the Wu.

"Crap."

The rainforest reverts back to normal as Warriors run up to Clay, congratulating him on the win. Jack slowly gets up while holding his hurt back.

"What did I say? I told you guys there was no way Jack was going to win. Even if he had the right Wu to compete with, Jack would still be a little weakling," Raimundo says.

Jack growls at Raimundo and then turns to Clay, noticing the cowboy is tipping his hat to Wuya. Jack opens his mouth in shock again while the Warriors board Dojo and fly away.

* * *

Cut to Jack's house. Inside his lair, Jack eats a pudding cup. Wuya flies over by him. Jack doesn't acknowledge her.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" she asks. Jack ignores her and takes another bite of his pudding. "Well, it wasn't my fault you were looking in all the wrong places for the Altered Orb!"

"So, you just decided to help Clay!" Jack yells.

"Ooh, here we go."

"Exactly whose side are you on, Wuya? I saw Clay tip his hat to you after he won. I mean, what's up with that!" Wuya groaned. "Oh, no."

"What?"

"You … you knew where the Shen-Gong-Wu was all along … didn't you?" Jack asks.

"Why do I get all the idiots?"

"At first, I thought 'no, Wuya couldn't possibly be working with the Xiaolin Warriors', but then it hit me. You … like Clay." Wuya rolled her eyes.

"I'm gettin' a drink." Wuya flies over to the bar counter Jack now has somehow. A Jack-bot dressed in a tux is on the other side of the counter, cleaning a mug. Jack runs over and sits next to Wuya on a bar stool. "Bartender-bot – scotch – lots of it."

"I should've known. Every time you see Clay pull out his lasso, you get excited."

"Leave the bottle."

"It's because of how I look, isn't it, Wuya?" Jack asks.

"Kill me now."

"Well, I'm going to change! For you! No longer will I be the butt of every joke! No longer will I be named 'weakling' or 'loser'! No longer will I fall into the toilet due to not looking to see if the seat is up! No longer will I do –"

"What the hell are you talking about!" Wuya yells while trying to hit Jack even though her arms pass right through him.

"Shh. Be silent. I will go away and return a changed evil boy genius, Wuya! You'll see!" He runs out the lair with arms flailing in the air. Wuya stares at her scotch and then looks up at the Bartender-bot.

"We're getting the locks changed."

* * *

Cut to Las Vegas. Jack rolls up in a limousine in front of the Monte Carlo. His eyes open in amazement at how beautiful everything is. He spots a billboard that has a bodybuilder's picture on it saying, "I used to look like you."

"Wow!" He spins around in happiness and runs to the middle of the street. He lifts his arms up in the air and screams "I'm going to make it, world!" just as a bus hits him at 60 MPH.

Jack opens his eyes half-way. He tilts his head to the right and notices he's in a hospital.

"Wow! I'm alive! I don't believe it!" He laughs and then screams "I really am going to make it, wor –" just as he flatlines.

Jack slowly opens his eyes and looks upon the blue sky. He tilts his head and notices he's in a desert in the middle of a long road. He gets up and sees that he's perfectly fine. However, he also notices that he's butt naked. Suddenly, exactly 13 questions started going through Jack's mind.

"What is this? Why am I here? Where am I? Where are my clothes? Why am I not dead? Why the rest of my body tan but my face is white? Do you know the muffin man? When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Can you get cornered in a round room? How come it was called 'The Cosby Show' when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible? Who shot Mr. Burns? Where did that extremely strong-looking man standing across from me come from?"

The man was the body-builder from the billboard Jack saw earlier. He was holding a can of 'Super Creatine'. He began to approach Jack, and Jack began to hyperventilate. Perhaps it was because he was stark naked in an extremely hot desert and a body-builder carrying 'Super Creatine' was approaching him in slow motion. The man stopped right in front of Jack and held out the can.

"Drink this and all your problems will vanish."

Jack gasped under his breath and stared at the body-builder, unable to get his eyes off the man for some strange reason. But suddenly, all but one question remained in his mind …

"Why are turds pinched off at the end!"

Cut to black.


	2. What Side Effects?

"**What Side Effects?"**

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Xiaolin Showdown' in any way.

Open on the desert. Naked Jack and the bodybuilder stand across from each other. The man continues to hold out the 'Super Creatine' with a big smile. Jack stares at the can and then at the man.

"You're just gonna stand there until I take it, huh?" Jack asks.

"Well, usually, when a bodybuilder like myself offers a drink called 'SUPER Creatine' to a guy of, uh … your size, they immediately take it. No questions asked," the bodybuilder says with a New York accent.

Jack ponders this over as a strong gust of wind blows in next to him, making his flab jiggle.

"Yeah, that's attractive," the bodybuilder mocks. Suddenly, Jack gets an idea.

"Hey, wait a minute! If I drink this stuff … then it'll make me big, right!"

"Geez, this guy's a piece of work," the bodybuilder mumbles. "Yeah, that's right."

"And when I get big … then that hag will finally like my body -- in effect, liking me!"

"Uh … yeah, anyway, part of my job as the 'Super Creatine' spokesman is to explain all the side effects that _will_ happen should you drink the product --"

"I see nothing that could go wrong!" Jack exclaims obliviously.

"I just said –" Jack grabs the can interrupting the bodybuilder and begins to chug it down. The man shrugs in frustration.

"Am I even here? What is this? I don't even know how I got here. I was on my tour bus and my manager said -- he said, "Marty, you look good." And I was, like, whoa. I'm sorry, I don't do that – I'm not lookin' – I don't swing that way. I got a wife – Cheryl – she's home with the kids everyday, helping little Tommy with his Algebra, and I don't –" Jack finishes the drink as Marty continues to ramble. Jack clears his throat which stops Marty from talking.

"So, how long before this stuff kicks in?" Jack asks.

"Yeah, well, first of all, the side effects – I need to explain them if you'll take out the crap wedged in your –" Marty is interrupted again by Jack blowing into the empty can which makes a loud foghorn-type noise.

"All right, you know what? Give me that." Marty grabs the can, but Jack grips onto it tightly.

"Hey, it's mine! I paid for it!" Jack yells pulling it back. Marty's eyebrows rise.

"Paid for it! What – you're standin' here naked in the middle of the freakin' desert! How could you – Give it to me!"

"No!" Jack screams. They both pull on the can real hard as it starts to crush. All of a sudden, muscles on top of muscles grow on Jack. He stares down at his ripped body in wonder. He grins real wide.

"I'll take _that_!" Jack yells as he quickly jerks back. Suddenly, both of his arms literally fall off his body to the ground. Jack shrieks in shock. "What the hell!"

"Oh, geez!" the bodybuilder exclaims. "That's a first," he mumbles.

"What do you mean, 'that's a first'!"

"Oh, _that_ you hear. Let me take a look at this," the bodybuilder says while bending over to pick up the can. Jack continues to panic.

"Do something!"

"Hey, hey, relax. Geez, I'm tryin' to read. Where's your manners, buddy, huh?" Marty takes out a small pair of reading glasses, puts them on, and examines the back of the can.

"Relax! My arms just _fell_ off!"

"Hey, I don't come to _your_ workplace and flaunt your failures, do I? Geez …" Marty goes back to reading as Jack immediately passes out on the road. The bodybuilder squints at the can and nods.

"Oh, yeah, here it is. 'Side effect(s): loss of arms.' … Well, I could've told you that." Marty squints even more. "Also … there's shrinkage." Marty looks down at Jack who is drooling a bit. "Well, uh, it looks like the damage has already been done long before this stuff, huh?" The bodybuilder chuckles and then goes back to reading the can.

"Actually, I don't this is the right drink. Matter of fact, I think I'm supposed to be sellin' Gatorade."

He then looks up and down the road to see if anybody is coming. Using his foot, he gently rolls Jack off the side of the road and down into a ditch. He picks up Jack's arms and inspects them. He shrugs and uses one of them to scratch his back.

"Ah, that spot's been driving me crazy …" Marty drops the arms on top of Jack. "Thanks for the hand." He laughs to himself as he proceeds to walk down the long, dusty road.

* * *

Jack has been passed out for two and a half hours now. The desert sizzles from the intense heat. Jack's naked body is beat red from sun burn. A gang of vultures circle over him. The third hour passes as some hawks peck at Jack's arms while the others continue to circle above. The fourth hour passes as the vultures fly away, and Jack is seen covered in bird poop.

Nearby, a Cadillac drives down the road and eventually reaches to where Jack is. The car pulls to the side and a girl steps out. Her hair's in a ponytail, she's wearing sunglasses, a skirt, a red tank top, and tennis shoes. She approaches him and slides the sunglasses down her nose.

"Jack Spicer!" she yells. Jack instantly wakes up and turns his head to her. He winces in pain due to the sunburn.

"Ow …" Jack says with a dry throat.

"What happened to you! You're … huge!" She looks further down at him. "Though, not where it counts …" she says while shaking her head in disappointment. Jack squints to look at the girl's face. He gasps.

"Katnappé?"

"Well, it's … just Ashley now," she responds. A moment later, Jack passes out again.

* * *

Jack wakes up in the hospital, laid up in bed with his arms sowed back on and hanging in slings. He's also covered in bandages. Ashley is sleeping in the chair next to him. Jack stares at her confused. He then looks down at his body and notices he's no longer ripped. That leads to him screaming.

"Where's my muscles!"

The scream wakes up Ashley and makes her fall out of her chair. She gets up and goes to Jack's side.

"Jack, you need to calm down. It'll be ok."

"You don't understand! I had abs, actual biceps and triceps, a toned gluteus maximus –"

"I know, I know. I saw everything," Ashley responds.

"What? Really? … Everything?" Jack asks. Ashley nods. "Including …?"

"Yep …That's a shame," she says while shaking her head in disappointment once more. Jack glances out the window next to his bed, and then looks back at Ashley.

"Please. You've got to help me find the bodybuilder! He's got the stuff that makes me big! You've got to find him … his name's Cheryl or something close to --"

"Ok, ok, but before we do any of that … I invited somebody to see you," Ashley says while smiling. Jack raises an eyebrow.

"Who?"

All of a sudden, the door swings open, and a large woman walks through. She's wearing a pink dress with an assortment of flowers printed on it. She's also wearing a sun hat. Jack gasps deeply.

"Mother!"

"Oh, Jackie, as soon as I heard --" She stops and notices Jack's arms. "What … What is this?" Jack looks up and gasps again. Only his middle finger was on each hand. The vultures gnawed off all the others in the desert.

"Holy sh –"

"Is that how you address your own mother!" she screams as she proceeds to smack Jack across the face again and again. Ashley tries to stifle her laughter.

"This is what I get for traveling half-way around the world to see you!" his mom shrieks as she finishes by hitting Jack across the head.

"Mom, it's not my fault! I was left for dead in the middle of --"

"You know what? We'll talk about this _later_, Jack." She lets out a deep sigh to compose herself. "Right now, I want you to meet someone." She turns to the door and Jack looks around her. "We met on the plane ride over here …" Walking through the doorway is the bodybuilder wearing a white T-shirt that has "Gatorade" in bold letters printed across it. He comes in holding a bouquet of flowers. Jack opens his mouth in shock.

"We instantly connected, and, well, we're sort of dating now," Jack's mom concludes. The bodybuilder stops at the foot of Jack's bed while Jack continues to have his mouth wide open. The bodybuilder begins to speak.

"What's up, man? I'm --"

"Cheryl!" Jack finishes. The mom and Ashley raise their eyebrows.

"No … his name is Martin. Don't be rude." the mom says. Jack narrows his eyes at the bodybuilder.

"So, you just met her and you're already lying to her, huh? Well, I'm onto you, finger-eater. I won't let you hurt her!" Jack yells just as his mom smacks the back of his head.

"Ow!"

Cut to black.


	3. Wake Up Call

"**Wake-Up Call"**

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Xiaolin Showdown' in any way.

Warning: This chapter contains some offensive dialogue. "So, try not to get offended!"

Open on the hospital. Jack stares Marty down as Ashley and Jack's mom stand beside them.

"You sold me temporary muscles!" Jack accuses. Marty turns to the mom in confusion.

"Uh, he's been under heavy medication. Pay no attention to his outbursts," the mom nervously says. Jack glares at her. Ashley steps in front of Marty and puts her hand out.

"Hi, I'm Ashley."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ashley. I'm Martin." They shake hands as Ashley starts to giggle a bit. Jack groans.

"Oh, please," Jack says exasperated. "Hey, everyone … look at me. I'm so tall and handsome and built. I'm charming and way too conceited to leave a tip after an expensive meal at one of _the_ premiere restaurants in the Tri-City area –"

His mom discreetly elbows him right in the face which causes his nose to bleed. The mom puts on a fake smile for Marty as Jack's eyes start to well up.

"Ah, man, what the – come on!" Jack closes his eyes and shakes his head in disgust. "Enough with the child abuse – I'm still a minor!"

"And you'll never see what it's like to live past being one if you keep running your mouth!" his mom quietly screams.Jack lays his head back on the pillow and pinches his nose together tightly to try and stop the blood.

"Uh … maybe I should go," Marty says.

"Stay!" Jack's mom and Ashley yell at the same time. The mom glares at Ashley as the teenager looks away in embarrassment. The mom turns back to Marty.

"I mean … we _were_ going to dinner tonight, weren't we?" she asks with sweetness in her voice. Marty smiles and walks over to her. Jack raises his head.

"That's right, my sugar bear," Marty responds while handing her the bouquet of flowers.

"Aww," the mom says while quickly sniffing them.

"What! Those flowers weren't for me?" Jack asks bewildered. Marty scoffs.

"What are you, my girlfriend?" Marty replies. Ashley stifles her laughter once again. Jack frowns and turns to her.

"Stuff it."

"Well, we're gonna get goin'. I'll stop by later to see how you're doing," the mom says. Jack rolls his eyes. "And thanks for the call, Ashley."

"No problem," she responds while Jack mimics her. The mom walks out of the room. Ashley follows but stops and turns around to face Jack.

"I'm gettin' something at the vending machines. You want anything?" she asks Jack.

"Actually –"

"I bet you do." She resumes walking and exits the room. It's just Marty and Jack in the room now. Marty grins at Jack.

"Your mom's a lot of fun. I'm not too fond of the extra baggage she has, though."

"Hey, my mom may be a bit chunky, but she's still beautiful!" Jack exclaims. Marty scoffs and slightly shakes his head.

"Whatever, man." He starts to walk out the door but peeks his head back in. "Hey, try not to wait up for your mom tonight. 'Cause the party bus makes absolutely _no_ stops," he says with attitude. Marty begins to duck out before Jack calls him back in.

"You forgot your parting gift, _Cheryl_!" Jack blows one of the tissues off his hand revealing the "gift". Marty sneers and finally leaves. Jack frowns.

"Schmuck."

* * *

Ashley is seen in the halls deciding what she wants at the vending machine while Jack's mom and Marty walk past her. She casually waves good-bye to the two, and they do the same. Marty and the mom reach the end of the hallway and then turn down another.

Back in the room, Jack turns to his left sling and begins talking to it.

"Jack-bot #2844, come in … Do you read me? … I repeat –"

"You're talking into your hospital wristband," Ashley says while walking into the room with snacks. Jack looks ahead at her acting like he wasn't doing anything. Ashley scoffs and holds up a candy bar. "I got you a Snickers." (Lot of product placement in this story, huh?) He glances at the candy and then back up at Ashley.

"Thanks, I guess."

She sets it down on the little table next to her and then sits down. Jack rests his head on the pillow and looks out the window. Ashley looks out the window for a few seconds and then turns to Jack.

"So, what are you doing here … in Las Vegas of all places?" she asks. Jack sighs.

"I don't know … it's stupid," he replies while continuing to stare out the window. Ashley shrugs.

"You can tell me."

Jack looks down, thinks for a moment, and then turns to face her.

"I thought by coming down here I could find a way to somehow -- I don't know -- impress this … girl."

"Ohhh. So, all this is about a girl, huh?" … What's her name?"

"It doesn't matter. The plan fell through, and it's pointless for me to stay." Ashley shrugs.

"Well, maybe I can help. I _am _a girl, after all." Jack smiles a bit and then raises his head off the pillow.

"So, how long have _you_ been in Vegas?"

"I'm just passing through. I moved to America a few months ago and got this waitress job up in Palm Springs. But the pay wasn't –" Ashley was interrupted by Jack's loud snoring. The tiniest bit of drool begins to run down his cheek. She shakes her head in disbelief but ultimately figures Jack was exhausted by everything he's been through … or he has a very short attention span … or narcolepsy. Take your pick.

Ashley gets up and lifts Jack's covers up to his shoulders. He snorts and turns over, taking the covers with him. Ashley scoffs and then smiles. She turns around and walks out of the room, gently closing the door behind her. Fade to black.

* * *

Open on Jack's house. Jack is home now, back to wearing his regular clothes. He walks up to the front door and sighs happily. Before he reaches for the doorknob, he notices the welcome mat beneath his feet. It reads: "Welcome, pardner!" Jack scratches his head in confusion and then shrugs it off. He turns the doorknob and walks inside. As soon as he gets in, he smells a strong aroma coming from the kitchen. He sniffs for a few seconds and then licks his lips.

"Mom?" He sniffs once more as he begins making his way towards the kitchen. "Are you grilling steaks?" Jack receives no answer. "Mom?" He reaches the kitchen and sees eight steaks on a platter along with twelve corn on the cobs in a bowl lying on the counter. Jack's eyes get real big.

"Wow … you really outdid yourself this time, mom!" he yells as his stomach starts to growl. "I'm starving, too." Suddenly, Jack hears the pantry door open behind him. He turns around and sees Wuya in her solid form step out. He gasps as she walks right past him to the counter.

"Wuya?"

The old witch has her hair fixed up real nice, and she's wearing a red apron over her short pink dress. She proceeds to pour drinks into numerous glasses. Jack walks up and checks her out.

"What are you wearing? … And how do you know how to cook?"

Wuya doesn't respond as she finishes pouring drinks. She then picks up one of the steaks with one hand and drops it to the floor. Jack reacts by stepping back and putting his arms up in the air.

"What are you doing? We have plates, you know!" Wuya goes back to preparing the food as a yellow dog suddenly runs into the kitchen. Jack jumps to the other side of the kitchen as the dog chews into the steak, making a mess. Jack shakes his head confused by everything going on.

The front door creaks open and then slams shut moments later. The dog stops eating and runs to the door in a hurry. Wuya smiles and then calmly follows the little dog.

"Hey, boy! How you doing?" the voice says to the dog at the front door. Jack hears this and his eyes widen again.

"I know that voice …" Jack slowly walks out of the kitchen and immediately spots who's at the front door. Jack's jaw drops in shock.

The man petting the dog was Clay! He looked about ten years older and was wearing a suit, tie, black dress pants, and his usual cowboy boots. He hugs Wuya and then gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"How was your day, honey?" Wuya asks in a sweet voice.

"Well, I got good news! I finally sold the McLaughlin house!" Clay yells. Wuya squeals and gives him another hug. Clay then glances at his watch.

"What time is everybody coming over?"

"My dad'll be here in about ten minutes. The neighbors called and said they'll be over about the same time," Wuya replies.

"Great. I'll go get changed," he says while making his way to the stairs. Wuya nods and returns to the kitchen, passing Jack. The dog follows close behind. Jack stands there stunned at what he just saw. A few minutes lapse as Jack continues to stand in the same place, motionless.

The doorbell rings as Wuya runs out of the kitchen and takes off her apron.

"Company's here!" she yells. The dog rapidly runs past her to the door. It begins clawing at the door impatiently. Clay hurries down the stairs, now wearing his regular cowboy gear.

"Married?" Jack screams, a little late. Clay joins Wuya at the front door as she opens it. On the other side, Raimundo and Kimiko walk in while holding hands, both looking older as well. Raimundo dresses differently now, wearing a white shirt with a baby blue sweater tied over his shoulders. He's also wearing khaki pants and has his hair spiked up. Kimiko is wearing a denim jacket and a plaid skirt. Her hair is blonde and up in a ponytail. Jack's jaw drops even further.

"There's our favorite neighbors!" Clay yells as he gives them a bear hug.

"I made a Jello," Kimiko says while handing it to Wuya.

"Great! Say, I have a new recipe I found that I keep forgetting to give to you …" Wuya brings Kimiko into the kitchen as Clay and Raimundo talk by the front.

"I missed you at the golf course the other day. Work keeping you busy?" Raimundo asks.

"Yeah, there was this house that I had the toughest time selling, but some interested people came in today and took the asking price," Clay replies. Raimundo congratulates him. "Definitely next week, though, we'll go."

"Hey, did I tell you I got a new 5-iron? It's really been improving my game, taking two strokes off of every …" Raimundo and Clay continue to talk while walking past the still-mesmerized Jack.

"Where am I?" Jack finally says. The doorbell rings again as Wuya runs to the door. Feeling woozy, Jack slowly sits down on the first step of the stairs. Wuya opens the door revealing Master Fung wearing a Tie Dye shirt and jeans. Jack rubs his eyes.

"Dad!" Wuya yells as she puts her arms around him.

"Hey there, honey."

"Dad?" Jack shrieks. The little dog walks up to Master Fung and he begins to pet the little guy.

"Hey, I missed you, too, Omi!"

"Omi?" The yellow dog turns in Jack's direction as the evil boy genius focuses on his face. It was Omi!

"Finally … Something that makes sense!" Jack rejoices. The dog barks happily as Master Fung finishes petting him. Everyone else comes out of the kitchen.

"Tom! It's good to see you!" Clay says as he proceeds to shake Master Fung's hand.

"Tom?" Jack laughs to himself. "Tom Fung." He continues to laugh real hard.

"Good to see you, too, Clay. How've you been treating my only daughter here?"

"She's older than you, _Tom_!" Jack yells but nobody hears him.

"He's been doing a great job, dad," Wuya answers. "I'm so glad I married a _big_, strong man to take care and support me. He's the best." She gives Clay a kiss as Jack growls. The evil boy genius stands up in anger.

"I'm going to kick your –"

"Come inside. Dinner's on the table!" Wuya says. Everybody anxiously makes their way back into the kitchen, ready to start eating. The dog, however, heads into the basement. Jack runs after him.

"Hey, stay out of my lair!" Upon entering the basement, Jack notices none of his stuff is there. He angrily stares at everything around him. Numerous posters about dog food, girl dogs, and just dogs in general are displayed on every wall. Bags of dog food lay in every corner, and there are two king-size beds for the dog to sleep in. Grooming supplies rest on the dog's own dresser. A flat-screen TV hangs up on one of the walls with a large couch placed in front of it. Omi jumps onto one of his beds and lays his head down.

"What … What is this? Where's my stuff?" Jack asks while walking around. "My robots … where are my Jack-bots? I don't – I don't believe this." Omi sticks his head up as Jack stands across from him.

"My lair was turned into the dog's room?" Omi barks and happily wags his tail. "It wasn't enough that Clay married Wuya, Raimundo married Kimiko, and Fung was Wuya's dad? The **dog** had to have his own room – _my_ room?" Omi barks again. "Ooh, I just want to wring your little –" Omi jumps off the bed and runs in between Jack's legs. Losing his balance, Jack falls to his right heading straight for the bed post. In slow motion, he closes in on the post until finally slamming his head into it. Cut to black.

* * *

Jack wakes up in a cold sweat. He looks around and notices he's back in the hospital. It was all just a dream. He sits up and gives out a long sigh.

"That's _it_!" he shouts. Ashley races into the room with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" she asks. Jack narrows his eyes.

"Start the car. We're goin' to see Cheryl."

Cut to black.


	4. Live in the Now

"**Live in the Now"**

Disclaimer: I still don't own 'Xiaolin Showdown' in any way.

Open on the hospital. In a hurry, Jack kicks his covers off and gently takes his arms out of the slings. Ashley sets her coffee down.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get back in bed; your stitches are still fresh, and you're still under observation," Ashley says. Jack quickly shakes his head and stands up.

"That doesn't matter! I have to … Whoa." Jack sways back and forth due to feeling woozy, and then sits back down.

"See? I'll pour you some water." Ashley turns and picks up a bottle of water off the little table next to her. She opens it and starts pouring into a Styrofoam glass.

"No, I … I really need to find –"

"Just relax and drink this." Ashley hands the glass to Jack, and he takes a few sips. He sets the glass down and catches his breath. "Feeling better?" Ashley asks. Jack slowly nods. "Good!" Ashley punches his shoulder as Jack screams in pain.

"Why's everybody always hitting me!" he yells. He throws the glass of water in anger.

"Maybe that'll knock some sense into you! What's the matter with you wanting to leave, huh?" Jack leans back a bit. "Huh?"

"Well, you didn't have to hit me! Especially on the spot where I'm obviously healing!" he screams.

"I didn't hit you that hard."

"Yeah, right …" Jack examines his hurt shoulder. "… I'm all bruised," he whimpers.

"Aw, really? Let me see," Ashley says while leaning in. She instantly turns and punches his other shoulder. "Now, you match!" Jack cries from the excruciating pain.

"Vile woman!" he screams. Ashley then grabs her coffee, removes the lid, and splashes it onto Jack's face. Before he could let out another scream, Ashley jumps up and kicks him right under the chin. The powerful kick sends Jack through the nearby window as glass falls everywhere. His infamous scream can be heard for a few seconds until he crashes onto a parked car. The car alarm immediately goes off while Ashley scoffs.

"Baby."

* * *

Jack screams as he wakes up back in the hospital room. It was just another dream. Ashley races into the room with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Hey, what's all the screaming about?" she asks. Jack raises an eyebrow and looks around in confusion, noticing the déjà vu. He then focuses in on the cup of coffee.

"What are you gonna do with that?" he asks. Ashley looks down at her coffee and then back up at Jack. She shrugs.

"Throw it in your face."

Jack gasps and tries to roll out of bed, but the slings keep him there. Ashley laughs and walks over to him.

"Calm down. I was kidding." She sits down in her chair as Jack watches her closely. Ashley removes part of the lid on her coffee cup. Jack flinches while she begins to sip it slowly. She sets it down on the table next to her as Jack sighs in relief. "So, why were you screaming? Did you have a nightmare?"

"You could say that," Jack says while resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. A car alarm goes off outside as Jack screams and jumps out of his bed, landing face-first onto the floor. "Ow."

Ashley stands up and helps Jack into bed. She chuckles while covering him back up.

"You're such a weirdo." She thoroughly tucks the covers under the mattress as Jack stares at her.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks. She finishes tucking and commences to fix his pillows.

"Well, I have to tuck the covers in so you won't fall out again."

"No … not that," Jack replies. "I mean … why are you taking care of me?" Ashley stops what she's doing and looks into Jack's eyes. She shrugs innocently.

"Hey, if I don't, who will, right?" She quickly smiles and turns around. Jack looks down and thinks about what she just said. Nobody has ever really cared for Jack, not even his own mother. After all, she just ran off with a guy she just met. After thinking about it, Jack finally smiles, touched by Ashley's kindness.

"Thank … you," Jack mumbles. Ashley turns and scrunches her face up.

"What?" she asks. Jack gulps and looks her right in the eyes.

"Thank you," he clearly says, showing signs that there _is _warmth in his cold heart. Ashley barely nods, a little surprised by his gratitude. Jack rests his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes.

"No problem," she whispers while smiling a bit. She sits back down in the chair and crosses her legs. She then watches Jack as he slowly drifts off. Fade out on the hospital.

* * *

Open on a restaurant. Jack's mom and Marty are inside eating dinner. They are sitting in a booth. Jack's mom takes a bite of her meat and moans from the incredible taste.

"Mm. Honey, you gotta try this pork."

"Uh … no thanks, babe. There's over 20 grams of fat in that thing." Marty chews on the food he's having.

"Oh, please, it's so good." Marty doesn't respond. She puts her fork through the pork and waves it by his face. "Here, one little bite." Marty turns his head away from it. "Come on." He doesn't move his head. She puts her pork back on her plate in defeat.

"Well, what are you eating?" she asks as Marty finishes swallowing a bite of his food.

"Stir Fried Chicken and Bok Choy. It's got plenty of vitamins, protein, potassium, low amount of calories …" He shoves in another bite. Jack's mom frowns and sets her fork down.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to take just one night off from being this glorified bodybuilder and eat like a normal person, _hon_," she whispers so only Marty could hear. Marty stops eating and scoffs.

"I'm sorry I care about my appearance, _dear_." He resumes eating while Jack's mom gets angry.

"Eating some _real_ meat isn't going to hurt your precious body!" she shouts.

"Speak for yourself," he mumbles while continuing to not look up. Jack's mom gasps deeply, and then throws her napkin on the table.

"Jack was right about you! You come off as this charming, handsome guy, but in reality … you're just a _schmuck_," she says quoting her son. Marty stares down at his plate as the mom scoffs. She grabs her purse, slides out of the booth, and begins to walk past Marty before he finally looks up at her. He grabs her wrist, pulling her back.

"How dare you –" She immediately stops talking once she makes eye contact with the bodybuilder. Marty grins and stares deep into her.

"Why don't you sit back down, and we can forget any of this ever happened? … Ok?" Jack's mom looks away and shrugs.

"Ok."

She drops her purse back into the booth and slides in. She goes back to eating her food as Marty grins again and takes a sip of wine, never taking his eyes off her.

"Good girl."

* * *

Open on Jack sleeping on the floor next to a king-sized bed. A yellow dog is licking his face.

"Stop," Jack mumbles while pushing the dog away. The dog walks over to Jack's feet and proceeds to rapidly lick them. Jack giggles like a girl and wakes up moments later. He gets up as the dog runs up the stairs. He looks around and gulps. "Oh, no … please don't tell me I'm back."

Jack walks upstairs to see Clay, Wuya, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Master Fung gathered around the dinner table. Idle conversation goes on as Jack continues to not be noticed. The dog happily waits underneath the table for any food that is dropped or tossed to him. Jack stands confounded.

"Why am I always asleep?" he asks himself. Annoyed, he starts pacing back and forth. "Wake up, Jack! I get it – everyone but me will end up happy! Ok? I realize that!" He walks over to the side of the kitchen table and cups his hands around his mouth. "I don't need any of you!" Jack turns to Wuya's dad. "Not even you, _Tom_!" Master Fung obliviously chews on his corn on the cob as Jack narrows his eyes. "_Especially_ you."

Jack flinches when he receives a tap on the shoulder. He turns and gasps to see an older-looking Ashley standing there.

"Ashley! Y-You can see me?"

"Of course, I can see you," she laughs while proceeding to give him a kiss on the cheek. Jack blushes and touches his cheek, having no idea why she just did that. Ashley wipes her lips with her sleeve.

"Ew, your face is all wet. … Aw, have you been getting kisses from Omi?"

"No!" he quickly yells while wiping the dog's drool off. Ashley chuckles. "Anyway … how did you get here?" Jack asks. Clay immediately interrupts, just noticing the two standing there.

"There's the newlyweds!" he exclaims. With a look of shock, Jack turns his head to the cowboy. Everybody turns their chairs to give them their attention. Clay gets up and gives them one of his bear hugs. Jack doesn't hug back due to still being in shock. Ashley, however, does. Clay lets them go and stands beside Wuya.

"Sorry for invitin' you over here last minute. Wuya and I just wanted to give y'all a congratulatory dinner."

"Oh, no, we're happy to be here. Thank you for inviting us. Your home is lovely," Ashley says while glancing around.

"So, what was it like getting eloped in Las Vegas?" Wuya asks as Jack's eyes widen.

"Vegas?" he whispers.

"Well, you know … what'd you expect," Ashley replies while putting her arm around Jack's waist and squeezing him tight. "But it didn't matter. Jack told me he didn't care how; he just wanted to marry me so we could spend the rest of our lives together. Right, baby?" she asks while cuddling him. Jack giggles nervously.

"Wow. That was really sweet of you, Jack." Kimiko says. "Always the romantic." Everyone chimes in on agreement as Jack raises an eyebrow.

"Uh … yeah, well, we're gonna get goin'," Jack desperately says wanting to get out of there. Ashley scoffs and pulls on his arm.

"Don't be silly. We just got here."

"We? I've been here for _two_ dreams now! And, for your information, Katnappé never says, 'don't be silly'." Everyone looks at each other in confusion and then back at Ashley. Perplexed, she shakes her head.

"Katnappé? … Who's that?" she asks as everyone stares at Jack. Once again, he stands motionless, unable to make heads or tails of anything going on. Master Fung eventually breaks the awkward silence.

"Sit down, Jack. Here … eat some corn."

"I don't want any corn, you dirty old man!" Everyone goes back to being silent, alarmed by Jack's outburst. Ashley stares at him in amazement.

"Thank you!" Raimundo yells. Kimiko elbows him in the side. "What? He's been offerin' me corn all night!" he whispers. Kimiko grabs her forehead and starts rubbing it in frustration.

"Why do you always have to embarrass me in Jack's dreams?" she whispers back. Ignoring them, Jack sighs deeply.

"I don't understand. I … have no idea why I keep having these dreams. They make no sense," Jack says in defeat.

"They make perfect sense, Jack. You're dreaming the future that _you_ want," Ashley says, taking a whole different tone. Jack looks at her curiously.

"What do you –"

"Subconsciously, you _want_ Clay and Wuya to end up together and have a happy life because you realize Wuya will never like you for who you are … and you _want_ Raimundo and Kimiko to be an old, bitter married couple. You want Omi as a dog –"

"I didn't want him to take my room!"

"Yes, you do. You put your old life behind you … to move on with me. You left all your old hobbies and obsessions behind … to be with me. Get it now? This is the future you hope for. The one you desire the most." Jack smiles a bit, beginning to understand. "Yet … you know this future can never happen." Jack looks back up and frowns. "It's just your imagination."

"But …" Jack sighs again and hangs his head. "Even the part about us?" Ashley closes her eyes and nods. Jack looks away as Ashley begins to hold his hands. Jack stares into her eyes as she stares back.

"You've got to live in the now," she says.

"What if I don't want to?" he asks with a quiver in his voice. Ashley shakes her head.

"Time to stop dreaming, Jack …"

"What if I want to stay here with you?"

" … It's time to wake up …"

Fade to black.

* * *

Open on the hospital room. Jack hears a garbled voice next to him but won't open his eyes to see who it is.

"Jack! Jack!" the voice whispers. "Wake up! Come on, we gotta go!"

The evil boy genius slowly opens his eyes to see one of his Jack-bots hovering next to him. He gasps and hugs his robot real tight.

"My Jack-bot!" he yells.

"Shut up!" The robot points to Ashley who's sleeping beside them in the chair.

"How did you find me?" Jack whispers.

"Remember the tracer that me and four other Jack-bots implanted into your skull while you were asleep last July?"

"No."

"Ok, so I brought your clothes, goggles, an extra heli-bot, and your evil makeup," the robot says while opening the little door on his chest. Jack sneers, gets out of his slings, and begins changing clothes.

"We'll go out the window and then start flying west back to –"

"Hang on. What makes you think I'm going back home with you?" Jack asks.

"Look, I know you were really serious about this quest for Wuya –"

"It's not about her anymore," Jack says cutting the robot off. "Or … at least I don't think." The robot scoffs.

"What was it about, then? … Her?" he asks while pointing to Ashley. Jack stares at her looking more confused than ever. He looks down and shakes his head. "Ok, good. Then, you can come home." The Jack-bot starts to hover towards the window, but Jack stops him.

"Not yet." Jack quickly turns off his robot by flicking the "on/off" switch on its back. He catches the Jack-bot before it falls to the floor and gently places it on the bed. Jack finishes changing his clothes and puts the heli-bot on. Before making his way to the window, Jack walks over to Ashley and thinks for a moment. He lets out a long sigh and then smiles.

"Thanks for the talk," he whispers. " … See you around."

He walks to the window and lifts one leg out of it. There, he begins to think about his life and everything that's transpired so far in Las Vegas. Good or bad, he knows it's all happened for a reason … and now, the only thing he has left to do … is figure out what that reason is.

Uncertain of what's to come and where he'll go next, Jack lifts his other leg out the window and starts up the heli-bot. He turns to look at Ashley one more time while the words "live in the now" echo in his head. Jack nods and lowers his goggles. He then jumps off the window sill, and begins to fly far away from the hospital.

Fade to black.


	5. Ice Cream Break

"**Ice Cream Break"**

Disclaimer: I think I can stop posting these disclaimers.

Open on the sky. Night. Jack has been flying aimlessly around Las Vegas for the past two and a half hours. During that time, he thought about the cards that life dealt him. He thought about the dreams he's been having lately and if what Ashley said to him was true. He also thought whether this quest he set out on was all for nothing. … Or perhaps it was fate that he ran into Ashley.

All of a sudden, Jack's heli-bot sputters indicating it's out of gas. He quickly makes his descent right next to an ice cream parlor and closes the heli-bot. He lets out a depressing sigh and begins to walk the other way.

"Hey! Buddy!"

Jack stops and slightly turns his head to the voice. One of the employees from the parlor is calling him. Jack raises an eyebrow as the employee waves him in.

"Uh … sorry. No money," Jack responds while emptying his pockets. However, as soon as he does, a bunch of loose change falls out. Jack stares at the change in shock. The employee scoffs and then smiles.

"Come on. That's enough to buy a small cone." The employee turns and re-enters the parlor. Jack looks up at the man in curiosity.

Inside, the man wipes down the main counter with one hand and holds his cigarette in the other. He hears the front door squeak open and looks up to see Jack checking the place out. The man takes a puff of his cigarette and then puts it out in the ashtray.

"Take a seat."

Jack cautiously approaches the counter and slowly sits on one of the stools. The man puts on a pair of disposable latex gloves and then grabs a small waffle cone.

"What flavor you want?"

"… Vanilla?"

"Comin' up." The man digs into one of the ice cream tubs and eventually gathers three scoops of vanilla onto the cone. He grabs two napkins and then hands Jack his treat. "There ya go."

Jack carefully handles the cone and a moment later, he takes his first lick. Some of it dribbles down his mouth and gradually drops on his shirt. The man smirks as Jack's top scoop slowly falls off and lands on the counter. Jack doesn't make a move, hoping the man didn't notice that.

"So, uh … where you from? Don't look like you're from around here."

"China," Jack replies with his mouth full.

"Wow. So, you literally traveled around the world." Jack vigorously licks at his cone as random moans commence. "I'm guessing you're enjoying that." Jack briefly stops his ice cream crusade to reach into his pocket and pull out a handful of change.

"It's ok. This one's on me," the man says. Jack pulls his hand back and puts the change away. He then returns to his ice cream. The man gets his rag back out and cleans up.

"So, what's a guy who lives in China doin' all the way over here?" The man finishes wiping and throws the rag off to the side.

"I was on a quest to impress this girl – Wuya," Jack begins while chomping at the cone. "Now … 1,500 year-old witch or not, I still -- I guess you could say I have feelings for her. She's the only female companionship I've had since I was in my mom's womb."

"That's sad."

"So, I'm in the middle of a showdown, right?" Jack throws the rest of the cone in his mouth and starts to chew. "I figure the cowboy has no chance in bagging the Wu." Tiny chunks of the cone fly out of his mouth. Jack takes a moment to swallow and then wipes the edges of his mouth. The man just stares at him as Jack clears his throat really loud.

"'Scuse me. Anyway … uh … where was I?" The man opens his mouth to respond but Jack cuts him off. "Oh, yeah. So, we're in the middle of the forest and – no, wait, was it a forest or was it a rainforest?" The man waves him to go on.

"Just –"

"Yeah, it doesn't matter. So, I'm in the lead, right? I was _this_ close to finding the Orb. When, all of a sudden –"

Jack spreads his arms out and knocks the napkin holder off the counter. They hear a small crash and Jack looks down at it.

"Oops … my bad."

"Don't worry about it. Keep going," the man says.

"When, all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, Wuya _blurts _out to look under the giant rock for the Wu so the whole world can hear! And I'm, like, Wuya! Whose side are you on? And I think I said that … whose side are you on."

The man stares at Jack looking bored. Frazzled Jack waves his arms in the air as he continues with the story.

"After that cowboy found the Wu, he _tipped_ his hat to her! And don't think I don't know what that means! I know all about the … hat … tipping … innuendos."

Even Jack knew that made absolutely no sense.

"Well, it sounds to me like you have –"

"Oh, that's not even the worst part! Ooh, no! Not even close. Later, when I asked her about it, she didn't deny liking him! I mean, well, actually, she didn't say she did, I sort of just assumed … she was really telling _me_ to check under the rock, and I … overreacted." Jack groans and then bangs his head on the counter.

"It's not too late to apologize. Just admit you made a mistake."

"You don't get it." Jack raises his head back up. "She's a 1,500 year-old spirit who takes advantage of me. I'm her 'Wu Collector' … nothing else."

"But you said you care for her, right?" the man asks.

"… Mildly."

"Then, she must have feelings for you, as well, if she's been with you for over two years," the man says. Jack ponders this for a second.

"Hey, I never told you --"

"The woman probably wants you as much as you want her. She's just waiting for you to make the first move."

"Um … remember, she's a spirit. AKA - not solid. AKA - I just realized … why am I taking orders from a freakin' ghost?"

"That doesn't matter!" The man grabs him by the collar and pulls him close. "Don't you see, Jack? She's your soul mate, and if you don't do something soon, you could lose her forever!" he yells. Jack blinks and then looks around.

"Uh … how do you know my name?" The man lets go.

"There's something I don't understand, Jack …Why does she reject you in the first place?"

The evil boy genius shrugs and then rests his arms on the countertop.

"I don't know … my appearance? I'm always called 'weakling' or 'loser' or 'butt-face'."

"Butt-face?"

"Eh, I just added that in," Jack says. The man nods and then looks out across the parlor.

"You know what?" the man asks. "I believe everyone -- no matter who you are -- has the power to change. And I especially believe that eventually you're gonna get that girl to like you. Or she might come around on her own, you never know. You gotta have confidence." Jack scoffs and then slightly shakes his head.

"Easier said then done."

"You just gotta hightail it back to China and steal that Wu thing from the cowboy … it'll prove to Wuya that you're a man."

Jack nods and then shoots up off the stool. He bangs his fist onto the countertop.

"You're right! I'm done with self-loathing! It's time I took a stand, for once!" he exclaims.

"That's the spirit!" Jack turns around and heads to the door, but the man stops him. "Oh, one more thing!"

"Yeah?"

"Did that Wu thing happen to have a name?" he asks. Jack rubs his chin, trying to think back. He then snaps his fingers.

"It's called the Altered Orb. It allows you to shape shift or something like …" Jack gasps. "… Wait a cotton-pickin' minute!"

The man flinches at Jack's random line. Jack gasps real deep this time and then holds his arms out, realizing something.

"The Altered Orb! It allows its user to _shape shift_! I-I-I-I-I –"

"Spit it out, boy!"

"I can turn into a bodybuilder with it! Of course! It was right under my nose the entire time! Not only will I finally be able to impress Wuya … I can also win more showdowns with my increased strength!" Jack gasps even deeper.

"What's the matter with you? Are you havin' an asthma attack?"

"I-I-I gotta go!" Jack runs out of the parlor in a hurry. The man shakes his head in confusion. The door swings back open as Jack pops his head in.

"Thanks for the ice cream!" He ducks out and the door slams shut. The man scoffs, mutters 'Crazy kid', and then heads into the back of the parlor.

Two minutes go by before Jack pops in again.

"And it was rainforest!" he shouts to an empty parlor. Jack raises an eyebrow, shrugs, and then finally leaves for good.

Cut to black.

* * *

**A/N:** Next chapter: the Warriors, Dojo, and Wuya all return! Jack encounters Marty once more and his true intentions are revealed.


	6. Bummer, Man

"**Bummer, Man"**

Disclaimer: I just can't seem to get rid of these things.

Open on the ice cream parlor. Night. Continuing from before, the employee heads to the very back of the parlor. He looks over his shoulder and then pulls out his cell phone. He dials and then puts the phone up to his ear. After three rings, the person on the other line answers.

"Yeah, it's me." The man looks over his shoulder once more. "No, he just left. He told me everything." The man laughs. "That's right. How are you making out on your end?" The person on the other line says something that makes the employee grin. "Excellent. All right, so, listen to this. It's called the Altered Orb. … Yeah, it allows you to shape shift. Pretty wild, huh?" The other line says something and the employee nods.

"Yeah, the stuff I fed him – it seemed to work. He fell for it." He nods again. "You sure you got it from here?" He looks over his shoulder one last time and then rubs the back of his head. "Ok. All right. … Talk to you later, Marty."

Cut to black.

* * *

Open on the Las Vegas strip. Jack paces back and forth in an empty alleyway while talking to himself. 

"Ok, so the first thing I have to do – the most important – is find a way back to China. My heli-bot's out of gas, so that's out … Maybe I can hitchhike?" He groans and rubs the back of his head as he goes deeper in thought. "I guess if my Jack-bot made the trip here without any trouble, then he could take me back the same way."

He groans again and kicks a nearby trash can in frustration. Lying in the shadows close to the trash can is a bum that was just awakened by the noise. Jack shakes his head, realizing something.

"I left my Jack-bot at the hospital." He paces back and forth some more as the bum starts to stand up. "That's it! I'll just go back to the hospital and sneak it out of there. Oh … wait." He proceeds to rub his chin as the bum approaches Jack from behind. "They know my face. They could've already found my Jack-bot and reported me missing! The police could be searching for me. Oh, no … I'm a fugitive! … Hopefully, they'll just pin all this on Ashley."

Suddenly, the bum taps Jack on the shoulder. The evil boy genius flinches and whips around.

"Spare change?" the bum asks while holding his hand out. Jack raises his arms like he's being held at gunpoint.

"T-take it easy there, friend. Here."

Jack empties his pockets once again and loose change scatters everywhere. He then takes a step back while closely watching the bum. The man looks around suspiciously.

"Uh … ok." He bends down to start gathering the change, but at the same time, Jack gives the bum a swift kick to the face which sends the guy flying back into the trash cans.

"Ha! Wasn't expecting that, huh? How does it taste?" Jack chuckles while the bum groans and holds his face.

"What the hell, man! I wasn't mugging you! I just asked for some change! Geez …" The bum grunts and tries to stand up. He takes his hands off his face revealing a bloody nose. Jack stares at his nose while the bum loses his balance and falls right back into the trash cans.

"Hey …" Jack says as he walks over to the bum.

"Don't touch me, man. I'm serious," the bum says while pinching his nose and trying to stand at the same time. Jack doesn't listen and helps the man up. He then leans him against the wall.

"You know, that looks like it could be broken."

"Thanks, Doc, I don't know what I'd do without you," the bum sarcastically says while slightly rubbing his nose. Jack grins real big.

"You should get that checked out at the hospital," Jack suggests.

"Leave me alone." The bum pushes Jack away and slowly walks past him. Jack turns and beings to follow.

"If it's money you're worried about, I got lots of it back home. My parents are loaded." The bum mumbles something unintelligible and places his hand up on the wall for support. "You'd be doing me a big favor if you just went into the hospital and grabbed something I left behind."

"I told you to get away from me!" the bum shouts. Jack frowns and thinks for a moment.

"All right, what do you want? Huh? You obviously don't want my money." The bum stops and faces Jack.

"That's because you kicked me in the face the last time I asked!"

"Just … please, I need you to do this! Ok? I'm desperate here! You want to know what I've been through ever since I got to Vegas?"

"No, but you're gonna tell me anyway," the bum says with a deadpan tone. Jack breathes in deeply.

"I've been run over by a bus, flat-lined in the hospital, left in the middle of the freakin' desert butt naked, poisoned by a bodybuilder in said desert, had my freakin' fingers bitten off, got a major sunburn, had my mother show up in the hospital only to yell and beat me up, found out that the same bodybuilder is dating my mom … had constant dreams that the girl I like married the guy I loathe, the _other_ girl I like married the _other_ guyI loathe, the _third _guy I loathe the most turned into a dog (which is really the only upside to all this) and took my room … and don't even get me started on the first girl's dad … and then I learned that the third girl I liked told me we could never happen! I haven't even gotten to the part where I dropped a whole scoop of my ice cream!"

Jack beings to pant hard, trying to catch his breath. The bum shakes his head in astonishment.

"Wow. That's messed up," the bum replies. "You know what? … I'll do it." Jack looks up in surprise and raises his eyebrows.

"You - I - Really? You'll do it? You'll help me out?"

"I thought _I_ had a messed up life. Man. I mean, I live in Vegas -- Nutjob City." Jack scoffs as the bum looks him over. "I'll need something for collateral, though … so I know you're for real." Jack quickly searches his pockets.

"I got nothin' on me," Jack says. The bum rubs his chin.

"That coat will do."

"My coat? This is all you want?"

"I'm a bum! What do you think?" Jack shrugs and takes his coat off. He hands it to him as the man wastes no time in putting it on. He looks down, admiring it. He then gives Jack a thumbs-up. The evil boy genius smirks and then brings the bum into a huddle.

"Ok, so here's what I want you to do … Hey. I never got your name," Jack says.

"Oh. Right. … It's Marty." Jack stares blankly at the bum for a few seconds.

"… Yeah, that isn't gonna work."

Cut to black.

* * *

Open on the hospital. Same night. Numerous police squad cars are parked at the front. Inside, Ashley and Jack's nurse are being questioned by a detective outside of his room as the Jack-bot is being carried away by two officers who are wearing latex gloves. 

"How does a patient just disappear? Does this happen often?" he asks the nurse. She frowns and shakes her head in disbelief. The detective turns to Ashley.

"I was told that you brought Jack Spicer in." She nods. "He was in pretty bad shape … any idea how he got that way?" Ashley opens her mouth to answer but no words come out. She has no clue what happened to Jack. Even so, the detective continues to drill them with questions.

"His mother said that she didn't even know he left China … let alone come to Vegas. Simply saying that he ran away is an understatement. What made him come _here_, of all places?"

"Look, you're asking the wrong person," Ashley says. "I just found him out in the desert –"

"Yeah, I know you two have a past." Ashley glares at the detective. "I also know that you've always despised him … but you moved away. And then one day, in part of this grand coincidence, you manage to find him in the middle of nowhere … all alone. Later, you decide to bring him to the hospital –"

"Now, wait a minute. Are you suggesting –"

"I'm simply stating the facts, ma'am. Although, the nurse told me you _were_ the only one in the room with him when he was reported missing," the detective says.

"I fell asleep in the chair next to his bed, and when I woke up, I saw the Jack-bot laying there in his place –"

"Yeah, I read in his report that he has an affinity for building robots." Ashley shrugs. "Tell me about that …"

Nearby, Marty the bum walks out of an elevator that just took him to Jack's floor. He looks around and then sees the receptionist's desk. He walks over to it while clutching his nose. The receptionist looks up at him with a smile.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I think my nose is busted." The receptionist's phone rings and she tells Marty to hang on. While she answers, Marty takes this time to glance around to find Jack's room. After looking for a few moments, he notices a detective and two ladies standing in front of one of the rooms. The receptionist hangs up.

"I'm sorry about that. I have – Sir?" She notices Marty is looking another direction. "… Sir?"

Cut to the outside of the hospital. Jack is hiding behind parked cars about four meters from the hospital. He notices the police squad cars and begins to worry.

"Come on … Hurry up," he whispers to himself about the bum. All of a sudden, two officers walk out of the hospital carrying the Jack-bot. Jack gasps real deep and immediately ducks down behind a car. He grabs the sides of his head and starts to hyperventilate. His heart begins to race rapidly.

"Oh, no … oh, crap."

Back inside, Marty continues to stare nervously at the detective while the receptionist tries to grab his attention.

"Sir!" Marty snaps out of it and looks back at her.

Over by the detective, Ashley, and the nurse …

"I suppose that's all the questions I have for right now," the detective concludes. Ashley slightly nods while staring at the floor, and the nurse nods as well. He turns around to make his way to the elevator. However, he stops dead in his tracks when he sees Marty. The detective studies the bum for a moment and then reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a piece of paper that has a sketch drawing of Jack on it wearing his regular clothes. The detective tilts his head up at Marty and then back at the paper.

Marty finishes talking to the receptionist and turns around to notice the detective staring him down. The bum quickly looks down at himself and instantly becomes aware of what's going on. It's the coat.

Marty's eyes widen as the detective scowls and stuffs the paper back into his pocket. He then takes a step forward towards Marty as the bum just stands there, frozen. He wants to run, but he's unable to move. A bead of sweat drips down his face as the detective approaches with a stern look.

"Oh, crap …"

Cut to black.

* * *

**A/N:** First off, I just want to thank everyone for their great feedback! I really appreciate it. Second, I know I said in the last chapter that the Warriors, Wuya, and Marty would return in this one, but I decided to run with this idea instead for now. No worries - they'll return soon enough. Thanks again for reading. The next chapter will be up shortly. 


	7. Freeze!

"**Freeze!"**

Disclaimer: These disclaimers follow me wherever I go!

Open on the hospital. The detective closes in on Marty as the bum's mind races on how to escape. Almost miraculously, he hears a nearby elevator ring open and instantly makes a break for it. Caught off guard, the detective hastily chases after him.

"Halt!"

The detective's yelling reverberates through the hallway, making Ashley turn towards the excitement. She catches a momentary look at the bum in Jack's coat.

Without thinking, Marty pushes in between a small group of people who were exiting the elevator. Once in, he presses the "close door" button a bunch of times as he watches the detective push through the same group of people. After some intense pleading and button mashing, the doors finally start to close. However, the detective's hand gets in the way of the door's sensors right before it shuts. Marty gasps as the doors ring open. He backs into the wall as the detective steps inside with one hand over his holster. Marty gulps when he sees the gun, immediately regretting what he just did.

"I-I-I'm sorry! It was wrong to run! I just panicked, and-and –"

"Where's Jack Spicer!" The detective was now right in Marty's face. Ashley shows up behind them, watching curiously.

"I-I swear I've never heard of the guy!"

"Don't give me that! You're wearing his coat!" The detective angrily pulls the sketch back out.

"I just found it in a dumpster, and I don't have very many clothes to –"

"How did you get that bloody nose? Huh? You try to take money from Spicer, and he hit you in the nose?"

Marty raises an eyebrow at the detective's remark.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

The detective's temper increases as he grabs the bum by the shoulders and slams him into the wall. Worried, Ashley steps forward and tries to get in between them.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she asks while pulling on the detective's arm.

"Step away, ma'am. This is a police matter."

The elevator doors close unbeknownst to everyone inside who just continue to yell at each other.

"It looks more like you're roughing up the suspect!" Ashley shouts.

"Don't tell me how to do my job!" he snaps. Marty growls and starts to become agitated.

"Let me go!" he pleads. The detective scoffs and slams him into the wall once more.

"Not until you reveal where Spicer is!"

Suddenly, the elevator stops and its doors ring open. Marty, Ashley, and the detective look up to see Jack obliviously standing right in front of them.

"Oh. Uh … I'll just take the next one," Jack says noticing the elevator is full.

Before any one of them could get a word in, the doors shut. As soon as it does, the detective frantically reaches for the control panel to press "1st floor". It's too late, however, because the elevator is going back up to another floor. He eases up on Marty and pulls a radio out of his back pocket. He brings it close to his mouth and pushes the button to talk.

"All units -- Respond! Jack Spicer is in the building. I repeat: Jack Spicer is in the building! All units to the first floor!"

"Roger that!" an officer replies. The detective puts his radio away as Ashley stares at him in confusion.

"Why is Jack being treated like a criminal? He hasn't broken the law or anything. He's just a misunderstood kid who spends way too much time building robots and planning world domination," she awkwardly says in his defense. The detective scoffs as he turns Marty around to cuff him.

"Believe me; you have _no_ idea who Jack Spicer is and what he's capable of." The elevator returns to their floor and the doors open. Two officers stand on the other side as the detective exits and hands Marty to them. Ashley follows close by.

"What's that supposed to mean? You must have mistaken him for someone else because the Jack _I_ know is hardly a criminal mastermind."

"Yeah, well, you obviously don't know him very well, then."

Frustrated, Ashley grabs the detective's arm, preventing him from moving forward. He reacts by pulling back real fast, but Ashley's strong grip remains latched to his arm.

"Ma'am, let go," the detective calmly orders.

"Quit beating around the bush," she demands as the detective proceeds to give off an intense glare.

"This is highly inappropriate –"

"I want to know what you know."

Ashley loosens her grip as the detective straightens his sleeve. He then looks over his shoulder and sighs. Turning back to Ashley, he cautiously leans forward to whisper.

"Ok … I'll tell you."

Cut to black.

* * *

Open on the hospital. Same night. After talking with the detective for a few minutes, Ashley exits the hospital and heads to her car. Police squad cars are still parked in front while various officers search the hospital and its parking lot for Jack. Officers keep an eye on Ashley while she's walking to her car.

She arrives at her car and takes the keys out. Just as she's about to put the key in, a hand grabs her from below and pulls her down. She gasps only to see Jack crouching two feet away, motioning for her to be quiet.

"Jack!" she whispers.

"Look, I know it was wrong to leave the hospital. Especially when I'm still under observation, but … isn't this a little much? There's an army out here!" he exclaims.

"Listen, you need to turn yourself in, ok? The cops have been searching the city for days now, but they said if you turn yourself in peacefully, the judge could grant you a lower sentence, and –"

"Hold on. Days? I've only been gone for a few hours," he points out.

"This isn't about you disappearing -- you know that!"

"Then what? Ooh, don't tell me this is about that free ice cream sundae because the man _clearly_ said –"

"You're a murder suspect, Jack!" she screamed rather loudly. Jack's eyes widen, but at the same time, he looks completely lost.

"I don't get it. I brought you to the hospital after I found you in the desert. I called your family, kept you company, and … you still wouldn't open up to me. If you just told me what happened, I could've helped and we would've avoided all this," she says. Jack stammers but is unable to string words together. "Is it a trust issue? Do you not trust me, Jack?"

"No, I – just, I –"

"Here's your chance to open up. Tell me what you were doing out in the desert," she demands as Jack gets a bit wound up.

"I already did! I told you about the bodybuilder, and how –"

"No. Before that."

"Yeah, before was – uh … well, actually … it's sort of a blank," he admits. Ashley scoffs and shakes her head in anger.

"I knew it. I wanted to trust you …even when I knew about your past. Keep lying, Jack. That's a great way to get a court to convict you."

Jack frowns and in an act of desperation, he attempts to hold her hand.

"Please, believe me –" Jack begins, but Ashley instantly pulls back. She stands up as Jack tilts his head up at her.

"I tried," she simply says. Heartbroken, Jack stares at the ground as Ashley begins to walk the other way in a hurry.

"Ashley, wait –"

However, as soon as he stands up, several flashlight beams shine on him from different directions.

"Freeze!"

Cut to black.


	8. Xiaolin Update

"**Xiaolin Update"**

Disclaimer: How many disclaimers does it take to change a light bulb? Find out - next chapter!

(Author's Note explains the latest plot points for those of you who I'm confusing the hell out of.)

**A/N: **You're all out there probably thinking, "Where the hell is this story going? Jack's a murderer now?" I think that really confused (and/or turned off) my readers, and that's why nobody reviewed the last chapter. Then again, maybe the last chapter was so good, it left everyone speechless! Haha. Anyway, for those of you who remember reading my very first chapter (which is no one), Jack flatlined in the hospital after getting hit by that bus, was revived, and woke up in the middle of a desert with no idea how he got there. So … I decided to explore that missing time. Apparently, someone was murdered in that period of time, and Jack is the main suspect. Again, he has no recollection about this at all … yet. I just wanted to clear all that up. But enough with this long and boring Author's Note! On with Chapter 8 …

* * *

Open on the Xiaolin Temple. Night. Inside, Omi and Kimiko sit at the kitchen table while Raimundo kicks a soccer ball to himself by bouncing it off the wall. Omi slowly eats a small bowl of Rocky Road ice cream while Kimiko sends text messages on her PDA. All three of them look extremely bored.

Clay walks into the room with a clipboard in hand. He lifts his hat up and scratches his forehead. He then lets a long sigh out and stares at the clipboard.

"Well," he begins to announce, "I finished checkin' the inventory."

Omi regains some life and instantly jumps out of his chair. Turning to Clay in excitement, the little monk starts to wave his arms.

"And?"

"And everything's right where they should be …"

Omi's excitement wears off as he climbs back into his chair. He grabs his spoon and starts poking the ice cream in boredom. Clay shrugs and sets the clipboard on the table. He then takes a seat next to Omi.

"Sorry, little buddy. I know you've been fixin' to see some action … what with no Wu activating for the past week."

"You've got to stop making Clay do all those inventories in the vault, Omi," Raimundo says, still kicking the soccer ball. "Jack hasn't done a raid since –"

"Since forever!" Kimiko chimes, looking up from her PDA. "I'm beginning to miss kicking his butt." The other Warriors all went into agreement with that.

"It is most unusual. The week that all the Wu cease activating is also the same week where no evil has come to threaten the end of the world," Omi says. "It has been _so_ boring around here that Master Fung sent Dojo on a two-week vacation to Costa Rica!"

Omi drops his head right into the bowl of ice cream. Clay lightly pats the little monk's back in reassurance.

"Don't be upset. We'll find somethin' to do."

Omi quickly lifts his head up, the ice cream completely covering his forehead.

"We are also done … no, ahead with all the chores! … Even Raimundo!"

The Brazilian gives the yellow monk a fast glare. He Kimiko sighs and sets her PDA down. She looks around the room, trying to find something they could all do.

"I don't know, guys. We've already done everything there _is _to do around here … twice," she says. She then smiles real big, getting an idea. "Unless you want to go shopping with me again."

"No!" the boys quickly replied. Kimiko scoffs, leans back in her chair, and folds her arms. Deep in thought, Clay grabs his chin and taps his index finger on it.

"I got an idea. How about we do some trick-ropin', Omi?" Then, Raimundo decides to jump in.

"And after that, I'll play you in soccer!" Finally, Kimiko jumps in.

"I just bought Cochica Raider 3! Want to try it?"

Omi raises an eyebrow and eyes his fellow Warriors suspiciously. Meanwhile, half of the ice cream on his forehead drips off.

"This seems strangely familiar …"

A moment later, Master Fung comes running into the kitchen with a look of panic on his face. He places one hand on the doorway to steady himself.

"Xiaolin Apprentices! Your assistance is needed!"

The Warriors flinch from their Master's sudden arrival. Master Fung runs back out as everyone gets pumped up at the prospect of some excitement. They immediately proceed to follow their mentor.

"Evil doesn't stand a chance against us today! We've been training non-stop and now's when we get to let loose!" Raimundo exclaims.

"Oh, yeah! It's gonna be the end of _their_ world!"

Clay glances down at Omi, who has a big smile across his face.

"Didn't I tell you, partner? It was only a matter of time before we got to fight –"

Master Fung stops in front of a sink in one of the Temple's rooms. The Warriors gather around him and stare at the sink which has sprung a leak and left a small puddle on the floor.

"… A sink," Clay finishes. Omi's jaw drops at the so-called 'disaster' that they had to assist with. Raimundo and Kimiko are exasperated as well.

"This is the emergency? A busted sink?" the Brazilian asks with anger in his voice.

"Yeah, I mean, you really needed to call _us_ for this?" Kimiko asks.

"Well, look at it," one of the temple monks says while walking into the room. "It's running all over my floors. And this is mahogany." He taps his foot on the hardwood floors. "The water will create bubbles and damage my newly-installed wood!"

Clay sighs and pushes his sleeves up his arms.

"All right. I'll take a look at it," he says while getting on his knees and grabbing hold of the pipes. Omi's left eye begins to twitch sporadically. Raimundo and Kimiko notice this but before they can speak, Omi lets everything out.

"This is most ridiculous! Xiaolin Apprentices should not be fixing leaky pipes; we should be ridding the world of evil! There must be _something_ in _some_ part of the world where we are needed! Perhaps there is a kitty cat stuck in a tree with no one around to save it, or there is – a – a …"

The temple monk is sitting across from everyone on the couch watching TV with the volume all the way up.

"Excuse me! I am talking!"

"Say again!" the temple monk yells over the loud TV.

"I said that I am trying to –"

All of a sudden, Omi hears Jack Spicer's name on the news. The little monk gasps and runs to the TV.

"Did you hear –"

"Yeah, we heard it, too," Raimundo says while walking over with Kimiko. Clay gets up from under the sink and wipes his hands on his pants. Master Fung joins them by the TV, also. Raimundo looks over at the temple monk. "Turn it up, dude."

He raises the volume some more as the news story on Jack continues. An anchorwoman is reporting the story.

" … as Jack, self-proclaimed 'Evil Boy Genius', Spicer was arrested and charged with first degree murder earlier this evening by local police at Las Vegas' Sunrise Health Hospital. For over a week now, Jack Spicer has been pursued by local authorities after his fingerprints were found all over the murder weapon used on billionaire tycoon, Victor E. Morales. His body was found eight days ago in the Mojave Desert. Victor was on a business trip at the time, passing through the …"

Raimundo grabs the remote and lowers the volume to talk to his friends.

"I don't believe it. … Jack's been in Vegas this whole time! Lucky!" he exclaims as Kimiko slaps the back of his head.

"Focus, Rai." She turns to Clay, Omi, and Master Fung. "We've known Jack for a long time now, and he may be a lot of things, but a murderer is not one of them!"

"You're just sayin' that 'cause you loooove him," Raimundo says while making a kissy-face. Kimiko rolls her eyes and proceeds to grab his lips, throwing him to the ground. Raimundo grunts as he hits the floor. Clay shakes his head.

"We have a saying down in Texas, Rai. 'Never miss a good chance to shut up.'"

"Kimiko has a point," Master Fung says. "You know what you have to do."

Omi shifts his eyes and then clears his throat.

"Allow him to rot in prison?" he innocently asks while shrugging. Master Fung narrows his eyes at the young monk. Omi straightens up and sighs. "Or we could go and prove his innocence," he says without enthusiasm. Clay laughs and stands up from the couch.

"Whoo-ee! Sounds like we got another adventure ahead of us."

Then, Raimundo gets up, who is a little frazzled from before.

"It's about time!" Raimundo pushes Clay out of his way and runs out of the room.

"The last to finish packing is a rotten eggroll!" Omi exclaims, following Raimundo.

"Hey, no fair!" Kimiko yells as she jumps off the couch. "You know it takes longer for a girl to pack!" She exits the room as Clay starts to follow. However, Master Fung grabs him by the shoulder and points to the leaky pipe. Clay groans but nods politely. Master Fung smiles as Clay tends to his duty.

Fade to black.

_ONE HOUR LATER …_

Open on the Xiaolin Temple. Omi is standing in front of the door that leaves the Temple, holding a small suitcase in his hand. He's pacing back and forth, impatiently waiting for the other Warriors.

"Let's go! I have been pacing for 52 minutes now!" he yells. Raimundo comes into the picture carrying two heavy suitcases.

"Ok, ok! Some of us own more than a single robe, ya know," the Brazilian remarks while setting the suitcases down.

"I have more than one!"

"Oh, yeah? Then, how come I never see you wear it?"

"How would you be able to tell if I wear it! "They're all the same thing!"

"A-ha! So, you admit to owning just one!" Raimundo exclaims. Omi begins to pout and tries to think of a comeback. However, they both turn their attention to Kimiko who is entering the room, dragging two very heavy suitcases. She turns to notice the boys staring at her.

"Don't help," she says sarcastically while Omi looks at Raimundo and then shrugs.

"We're not."

Kimiko scoffs and then lifts them up against the door. She then rubs her sore shoulders and scans the room.

"Where's Clay?"

"Probably packin' his spurs. Not an easy job," Raimundo says while leaning up against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Kimiko nods and then looks at Omi.

"You look nice. Is that a new robe?"

Surprised, Omi gives a big smile, delighted that someone finally noticed. He then sticks his tongue out at Raimundo.

"All ready to go!" Clay yells from outside of the room. Everyone turns to see Clay walking in with a suitcase. The rest nod and pick their stuff back up. They turn to face the door.

"You got the Silver Manta Ray, Clay?" Raimundo asks.

"Sure do. Let's get this show on the road."

Omi opens the front door and is about to take a step outside. However, he runs into someone blocking the doorway. As a result, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay bump into Omi because they're right behind him.

"Hey, what's the –" But before Raimundo could finish his sentence, the Warriors look up to see a tall, muscular man wearing a white T-shirt standing in the doorway. His face is hidden in the shadows. Kimiko cowers a bit as Raimundo and Clay put on a brave face. Athough a little frightened himself, Omi is the first to speak.

"Um … can we help you?"

The man leans forward out of the shadows, and it's revealed to be, none other than, Marty. A sinister-looking grin forms across his face.

"Yes … I believe you can ..."

Cut to black.

* * *

**A/N:** Ruh-roh. Trouble. Next chapter, we're back with Jack (rhyme!) in Sin City. Please R&R!


	9. Jack Goes to Jail

"**Jack Goes to Jail"**

Disclaimer: Heavily anticipated answer to the lightbulb question: how the hell would I know?

Open on the Las Vegas strip. Night. Jack and Marty the bum are being transported by a police car to the Metropolitan Police Department. They sit next to each other in handcuffs as they grumble to each other about their capture.

"I thought you had way more common sense than to just waltz right into the hospital wearing my coat!" Jack shouts. "What'd you think was going to happen when they saw you?"

Frustrated, Jack kicks Marty's leg as the bum yelps in pain. Marty kicks back but with more force.

"Hey, what I did say about touching me?" the bum asks. "Huh? And don't even try to pin this on me. _You're_ the one who gave me the stupid coat."

"All right, you know what? Give it. I want my coat back," Jack says while trying to grab at it. Marty fights him off the best he can.

"Hey, dream on, man. We had a deal. This is the collateral, remember?"

"Yeah, but now that we've been caught, all that stuff goes out the window." Jack struggles to pry the coat off as Marty pushes him away.

"A deal's a deal!" Marty exclaims as he accidentally head-butts Jack.

"Ow! You did that on purpose!" Jack accuses.

"No … but this is!" Marty shoves Jack into the car door's window which smashes his face in. Jack growls and turns to the bum in anger. He then raises his wrist close to his mouth.

"Jack-bots, attack!"

Marty raises an eyebrow and then looks around in confusion as absolutely nothing happens.

"Sorry. Force of habit," Jack says with a shrug. Marty fixes his coat and then stares out the window.

"So, what now?" the bum asks in an effort to forget the fight they just had.

"No idea. Hey … do you remember that girl I told you about?"

"Which one?" the bum asks.

"The girl who brought me to the hospital." Jack lays his head back. "It's funny. The moment we met, we couldn't stand each other." Jack chuckles. "You should have seen us when we worked together. Usually one of us would end up bailing on the other. I don't know why we kept on teaming up."

"Sounds like you're a glutton for punishment," Marty states which earns a scoff from Jack.

"I was shocked to see her hovering over me at the desert … Even more so when she helped me. For some reason, it's different now. _She's_ different. I honestly wanted to hate her all over again." Jack laughs while shaking his head. "However, as much as I want to, I can't."

"How could you?" Marty asks. "I mean, she _rescued_ you, man."

"Not only that, but she also stayed with me at the hospital," Jack says. Marty smiles and lays his head back. He then shuts his eyes.

"I had a girl like that once. I'll never forget her … the name was Esmeralda or Teresa or somethin' Spanish, I don't know. But she was something else. Ah, we had some good memories. Yeah … Though, I can't seem to recall any at the moment …"

"You're not off to a good start," Jack points out.

All of a sudden, the police car brakes hard, which sends Jack and Marty colliding into the cage divider. The two then reel back and clutch their injured faces in pain. The policeman driving honks the horn at a man who's standing in front of the car with his hands placed on the hood. The man has a very thick beard and is dressed in ragged clothing along with a black coat over it.

"Hey! Get off the road, or I'll have you arrested!" the policeman shouts after rolling his window down. The man takes his hands off the hood and then says something unintelligible. The policeman riding in the passenger seat turns to his partner.

"Go around him." The car takes a sharp turn to the right and then drives off, leaving the homeless man yelling at them from the distance. Jack lowers his hands and then and looks around.

"What happened?"

"Some bum ran out in the middle of the street," the officer replies. "They got nothing better to do." Marty sneers after rubbing his sore bruises.

"Hey, I take offense to that!"

"Shut up," the officer quips before hitting the cage divider with his police baton. Marty scoffs and then turns to Jack.

"Can you believe –" Marty pauses when he sees Jack staring down at his wrists. "What?"

"I just noticed …" Jack lifts his right hand up revealing one handcuff dangling loose. "… One of my cuffs came off." Marty's eyes widen as Jack leans forward to speak to the officers riding up front. Marty remains staring at Jack's dangling cuff.

"Uh, sirs? Officers?" Jack begins as he raises his cuffs to eye level. Marty quietly gasps and reacts by smashing Jack's foot. The evil boy genius screams in pain as one of the officers looks over his shoulder.

"What's going on back there?"

"Uh, n-nothing, officer," Marty responds, trying to keep it cool. "Jack suffers from that, um … disease. Y-You know the one I mean. The one where you just scream at random points in time because your … your _soul_ is attempting to speak out to the … you know, speak out to the world. And sometimes you have a really chatty soul that's unable to shut up! That's the, uh … precise moment when the disease kicks in. Can't keep what your soul has to say all bottled up … you know?" Marty finishes while nodding like he knows what's he's talking about. Jack and the officer stare at the bum in confusion.

Instead of responding, the puzzled officer slowly turns back in his seat. Marty lies back and lets a sigh of relief out. Jack leans in on the bum to whisper something.

"Is this disease fatal?" he asks with a look of concern.

"In your case, yes," the bum replies as Jack swallows a lump in his throat. Marty shifts his eyes to Jack's loose cuff. "We're gettin' out of here."

"How?"

"I have a plan." Marty grins and quickly glances at the two officers. "This time, we're doing things my way."

* * *

The car pulls up to the curb in front of the P.D. In the backseat, Jack and Marty anxiously wait to put their plan into motion. The officer driving turns the car off as the other officer opens his door to get out. Marty's right leg begins to bounce up and down in excitement as Jack stares curiously at his loose cuff. The officer that sat in the passenger seat makes his way around the front of the car to the rear door. Marty doesn't take his eyes off him.

"Follow my lead," he whispers to Jack. The officer puts his fingers under the handle of the rear door as Jack gasps, realizing something while staring at his cuff. He immediately wraps the cuff around his left wrist and locks it in as Marty watches, stunned.

"Fixed!"

The officer opens the door and grabs Jack's arm to pull him out. Shocked, Marty's jaw drops. The officer reaches in to take the bum out. Once outside, Marty stands across from Jack, giving him a death stare. After closing the door, the officer grabs both of them by the arm to bring them inside. As they walk towards the front door, Jack looks away from Marty's uncomfortable stare.

"What?"

"You idiot!" Marty exclaims prior to kicking him in the shin.

"Hey! What was that for?" Jack asks before kicking back. Marty doesn't flinch due to being overwhelmed with rage.

"You _know_ what that was for!" the bum shouts while narrowing his eyes. Jack mimics him as the officer opens the Department's front doors. Once through the threshold, Jack freezes in his place as soon as he sees who's waiting for him at the front desk.

"Mother!" Jack squeaks.

"Jackie, I am _appalled_," she says while shaking her head reproachfully. She advances toward them while Jack squirms, uncertain what his mom's going to do to him. Marty looks at Jack and then back at his mom.

"Listen, Mrs. Jack, I just want to come forward and say that –"

"Quiet!" Jack's mom snaps. Marty flinches as she turns to her son.

"What has been going on with you, Jack? Not only do you run away from home, travel across the world to Las Vegas, and get yourself sent to the hospital … but you're also involved in a murder!" she shouts. Jack rolls his eyes.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Jack asks, exasperated. "_What_ murder?"

"Dude, you killed somebody?" Marty asks.

"Apparently!" Jack exclaims, shrugging in defeat. The officer turns to Marty.

"Your mom's here to see you, too," he says. Marty snorts.

"I find that hard to believe since I haven't seen my mom for three years. No way she'd – Ma!"

Marty's jaw drops again as soon as he sees his mom step out from the waiting area. She's a tall woman with short, curly blonde hair wearing a dark red dress with a pearl necklace, diamond earrings, and black high heels. She shuffles towards her son with open arms.

"Martin!"

She embraces him in a tight hug and then kisses his face on both sides. Marty doesn't return the hug, simply standing in place.

"Tell me, how did you get mixed up in all this? I came home earlier today, and you were nowhere to be found," she says while mildly blushing. Marty narrows his eyes and frowns.

"You kicked me out ... three years ago," he says with a blank face. His mom laughs nervously and then casually grabs him by the ear. "Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"This way, Martin!" She pulls him by the ear further inside the police department as Marty awkwardly tries to keep up. He then raises his arm into the air, waving to Jack.

"See you later!"

Jack watches them walk away as his mom turns back to him.

"I want you to be straight with me," she begins as Jack rolls his eyes again. "Are you doing this for attention?"

"Yeah, mom, I ran away to Vegas just to off some random guy for _you_ – to receive attention from _you_," Jack sarcastically says.

"You might want to consider changing your tone."

"Maybe it was the years of neglect, mom. Did you ever stop think of that? I mean, how many times was I sent downstairs so you could throw another one of your stuffy parties and not have to worry about me 'embarrassing' you in front of your pompous friends? Or – or how about the multiple times when you 'forgot' about me at the store?"

"Jack, you know I never meant –"

"You didn't even realize it until when I didn't respond when you yelled for me to get downstairs for _another_ party!"

"Jack … I'm warning you --"

"I haven't even gotten to the best part," he says.

"That's enough," his mom orders.

"No, I don't think it is … because I know you, mom. And I know the true reason why you came to Vegas."

The mom pierces Jack with her intense stare, but he doesn't falter.

"It wasn't because you were worried about my well-being … it was because you felt nervous that I would end up embarrassing _you_," Jack finishes. Amazed, the officer gives a low-key whistle.

The mom ignores him as she continues to stare a hole into Jack, now angrier than ever. Feeling extremely uneasy now, Jack's bravery begins to dwindle, noticing that _he_ may be murdered next. As a result, he gradually leans in close to the officer.

"… You'd better take me to my cell now."

Cut to black.

* * *

**A/N:** Next chapter, the Xiaolin Warriors and Marty (Bad Marty, not Bum Marty) face off. Please R&R!


End file.
